1, 2, 3, breathe, breathe...

...is what i was chanting in my head last night.

its been almost 2 years and i decided that last night i would break that. i walked over to my old building and headed up to the top floor -- my company's fitness center. i dont know my locker number but i just know its exact location. i dont know my locker combo but my fingers did some walking and it opened. theres a security code on the women's locker room door and i seemed to know how to open that too. so im picking a big locker and thinking in my head "i hope no one checks me out while im undressing". next thing you know, two women are there with me. god, i kept telling myself that they were just looking at my tattoo and not my fat. i got dressed, peed, got my headband and turned left to go towards the cardio area. 8-10 treadmills and 3 of them were already occupied by runners. i got on and walked for a minute at 3.0 then increased it to 7.0. i almost died. i brought it down to 5.0 and finished my 1st mile at 12 minutes. next stop was the elliptical machine for 10 more minutes of cardio. i was watching "my dad is better than your dad" at the same time so that was a nice way to focus my attention. i tried to cool down by walking on the treadmilll, but i got really light headed and my knees gave out. i was by myself and figured i could pass out and no one would be there to save me. so i hurried over to the sit down bike and cooled down for 5 minutes. i chugged some gatorade and got dressed. walked out the building and walked home. i had heels on and it took me 15 minutes to get home. this was my first walk home from work so it was nice. pretty cold but i found a marial arts studio a block east of me and im thinking of taking kickboxing classes again. kickboxing is fun and is definitely more interesting than running on a treadmill. i finally made it home and said hi to doorman anthony. got my mail and headed up to my unit. changed to my pjs, did some laundry an called home. then i made a spinach salad with strawberries and cherry tomatoes. yum. then ate more strawberries, watched some king of queens and passed out to 103.5 kiss fm. i woke up the next day and no pain...woo-hoo!

almost forgot to close the loop on this. but my title refers to my breathing pattern. breathe in 3 steps, breathe out 2 steps. when you breathe out, you strike the ground harder. this pattern allows you to hit the ground with alternating feet. at first, it was hard to get used to but now, its natural. before i would feel a lot more muscle pain in my right foot but now my feet is sharing the pain. hah.

i did want to include what i was thinking about while i was running. theres so much going on with my family and my friends and my work and my lovelife. ive come to terms with some people and ive discovered new things with others. revelations you can call them. ill share tomorrow or whenever.

pre and post running is so routine. but i love the in-between part. i love running, just getting to the fitness center is the hardest thing for me to do. running lets me relax and lets my mind wander. ill share soon.